Yeah right...it's more like GuiltY living! I can't say I feel guilty all the time and I used to think I didn't really struggle with this at all but Clint would say "you always feel bad, worried, or guilty about something." First of all I need to say, that is not true. (you know the great thing about having my own blog is I get to say whatever I want...it's MY blog!) :)
I really do have a point. I do think we as women primarily struggle with guilt...false guilt. This is the kind where we can't really point to why we feel bad but we just do. It constantly comes up and we never come to a resolution. True guilt is when we can point to an attitude or action that was sin. We feel bad because the Spirit of God is convicting us. We repent (hopefully) and then feel Christ's forgiveness and MOVE ON. False guilt causes of to spin in circles. This is the kind that I get caught up in too often. (remember this from our women's conference at church)
Oh yea, I wanted to explain why Clint's comment is false. As you know, I am a verbal person! Shocker right?! I like to express my feelings...I don't hold much back so if I feel even a twinge of guilt, etc. I lovingly share it with my man! :) Then often, I don't think about it much any more until the next "twinge" hits me, which I then share again. And the cycle continues. Therefore, Clint hears me saying, "I feel bad about... or I wish I was better at... or I'm sorry I didn't get to....." a lot! This then, causes him to make comments such as "you feel guilty about everything!"
Anyway, the typical things that cause me to feel such guilt are (but not limited too):
*deciding to lay down on the couch immediately after dinner, rather than doing the dishes
*walking by "the pile" (see previous post) and not doing anything about it
*not playing with my kids enough
*not reading to them enough
*making frozen pizza for dinner and no vegetables
*not waiting tables at church lunch
*not bringing a homemade meal to a new mom(s)
*not spending enough time in the Word or missing my Bible Study all together
*being tired...
AM I ALONE in this endless guilt cycle? Why do we do this to ourselves. We cannot do it all? I think we need to remember that we are not superwomen and the most important thing is to love others and love Jesus. We need to trust in the Holy Spirit living in us and pray that God will inspire us in what we should be doing, convict us when we sin, motivate us to get the necessary done AND then give ourselves a break!! Lord, help us when we get cause up in that cycle of false guilt. Satan loves to keep us there...it is this place that we burnout, become unmotivated and depressed and lose the joy that IS IN JESUS!!
Forgive the ramblings.........see there I go again, feeling guilty for making this too long! :)
I really do have a point. I do think we as women primarily struggle with guilt...false guilt. This is the kind where we can't really point to why we feel bad but we just do. It constantly comes up and we never come to a resolution. True guilt is when we can point to an attitude or action that was sin. We feel bad because the Spirit of God is convicting us. We repent (hopefully) and then feel Christ's forgiveness and MOVE ON. False guilt causes of to spin in circles. This is the kind that I get caught up in too often. (remember this from our women's conference at church)
Oh yea, I wanted to explain why Clint's comment is false. As you know, I am a verbal person! Shocker right?! I like to express my feelings...I don't hold much back so if I feel even a twinge of guilt, etc. I lovingly share it with my man! :) Then often, I don't think about it much any more until the next "twinge" hits me, which I then share again. And the cycle continues. Therefore, Clint hears me saying, "I feel bad about... or I wish I was better at... or I'm sorry I didn't get to....." a lot! This then, causes him to make comments such as "you feel guilty about everything!"
Anyway, the typical things that cause me to feel such guilt are (but not limited too):
*deciding to lay down on the couch immediately after dinner, rather than doing the dishes
*walking by "the pile" (see previous post) and not doing anything about it
*not playing with my kids enough
*not reading to them enough
*making frozen pizza for dinner and no vegetables
*not waiting tables at church lunch
*not bringing a homemade meal to a new mom(s)
*not spending enough time in the Word or missing my Bible Study all together
*being tired...
AM I ALONE in this endless guilt cycle? Why do we do this to ourselves. We cannot do it all? I think we need to remember that we are not superwomen and the most important thing is to love others and love Jesus. We need to trust in the Holy Spirit living in us and pray that God will inspire us in what we should be doing, convict us when we sin, motivate us to get the necessary done AND then give ourselves a break!! Lord, help us when we get cause up in that cycle of false guilt. Satan loves to keep us there...it is this place that we burnout, become unmotivated and depressed and lose the joy that IS IN JESUS!!
Forgive the ramblings.........see there I go again, feeling guilty for making this too long! :)
4 comments:
Jami-
I totally know where you are coming from; in your list the same things have made me feel guilty. Jason does tell me that I am too hard on myself, but I do not think I am. When James was first born, my aunt came to stay with me for awhile. I was sharing with her one evening that I felt like a failure- my house was a mess, the laundry was piled a mile high, and I can't remember the last meal I made. I told her I felt like a failure as a mom and wife (guilty). Being the wonderful Christian woman that she is, she told me that God loves me and If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it. She further explained that God wanted me to be a wife and mother, so He will get me through it. She told me to write that on post-its and put them everywhere. I do not know if this helps, but it gets me through the day. :)
Alone - hardley!!! I think you hit the nail right on the head... I especially feel guilty about playing/reading enough. I have started every morning asking God to help me not worry about housework/errands/anything else, and let me concentrate on having fun with Grace. Also time yourself when you are playing or reading to them, you would be surprised how much you are actually doing with you kiddos! When all else fails and you are feeling super guilty, eat chocolate it always helps (that is unless your little one hasn't already gotten to it - I see a lot of Grace in Reagan - they are both sensitive and rambunctious)
Jami -
Certainly you are not alone in this. The key is we can't do it all! I often hear my mom tell me what she did when she was my age. And yes, my mom was wonderwoman. I have no idea how she did it all working full time??? So I find myself measuring myself by what she did or what would please her. Forget it! You can't possibly be happy trying to live up to an image society tells us we should be! We can only do our best in our heart of hearts, and let the past be the past, but to focus on today and set goals we can strive for in the future. But give ourselves some grace when we feel like we have failed and try tomorrow. Satan LOVES to get us caught up in these false guilt cycles. He also loves to make us "unnecessarily busy" to keep us from our investing in our family and what matters most! Personally, for example, I will relax on the couch after dinner, because making dinner is a lot of work and I want to relax after a huge task like that. And I love to cook, but it is a huge task! I guess I figure the dishes are going to be there, regardless of whether I do them today or two days from now (sometimes, not often). But sometimes we just need those breaks. And if you do the dishes later that night, who cares if you relax on the couch for a while!?! Having a break reenergizes us and we feel motivated again. Taking care of a family is hugly stressful and tiring at times, adding guilt on top of that only adds to the stress and feeling worn out!!! What is the worst that would happend if say those dishes sat in the sink for a few days? I say go spend time on things that will matter in eternity, like our husbands, kids, and yes even yourself (so we can be good mommies)! I hope this helps my dear. But take comfort that we all strugle with this too! Lots of Love to you!
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