Adoption Update - Another Twist On This Ride!

Hey friends - I could use your prayers right now.

The Lord has been working. He's been speaking to me a lot about timing, trust, and faith. I was at Living Proof Live this weekend with Beth Moore. She is an amazing and hilarious women of God and such a gifted speaker. The Lord spoke powerfully this weekend and He's still talking.

I feel like He's been telling me to come more boldly to Him. To risk the possibility of disappointment and allow myself to feel desire for this baby, to ask Him for what I want. I'm His child after all! :)

The truth is, I know that He knows me better than I know myself and so I've been kind of afraid to boldly say, I want to hear about this baby. I want it to be a yes! I want to move on. It's time! I do feel those things but I also trust Him enough to know that if He says no to my request, there is a reason.

So today I got on my knees and asked Him. "Lord I want to know today. I want to hear today. Today." I just have felt so strongly that the time is near. He has been speaking so strongly to that effect. Over and over I'm hearing about His Timing. Promises. Trust. Hope. Action.

I'm telling you, I feel quite vulnerable even posting this because I am still processing everything. But, I also really want your prayers. I just want to follow Jesus. Obey His leading. Do what He says and so that's what I'm trying to do!

Soon after I asked the Lord to answer today, the phone rang. "Uhhh Lord, could this be?" And as soon as I heard the southern accent of our dear social worker, Karen I was like "wow..."

We've been waiting to hear a decision from a young birth mom. But this is not why Karen called.

She called to ask if she could show our profile to another birth mom! What made this situation interesting is that this birth mom wants a completely open adoption. This is not something we were quite prepared for and honestly scares me. And then again it excites me. God has certainly been working on my heart over this past year and just recently, like today or yesterday I prayed Lord, I want to minister to our birth mom, I want to meet her and know her more than just once if possible.

So I called Clint and we both just feel like we need to be available. I trust God enough to know that whatever happens, He is here. I've heard horror stories and I've heard amazing God stories about how open adoptions work. I'm choosing to trust that God is sovereign and He knows our story. No matter what, He will be with us.

Now there is still a chance that we could be chosen by the "first" birth mom. She has not made a decision. It has been a few weeks and they are encouraging to make one soon because this "newest" birth mom wants to see profiles as soon as THIS afternoon. But she can't see ours until the other one makes a decision. Is this crazy??!!

So I'm feeling a little breathless. It reminds me of the last roller coaster we rode on our vacation. At the very top, the coaster crept over the edge of a mammoth hill and then stopped. So for 5 LONG seconds, we just waited, hanging over the edge of the big adventure. That's how I feel. It's exhilarating, it's exciting, and it's terrifying! Please pray!!