We Simply Can't Ignore This!

Oh friends! You all make me laugh. Sorry to keep you hanging! I had to focus all my time preparing to speak to a M.O.M.S. group on Friday and I just haven't had time to fill you in on what's been going on.

To you women, from M.O.M.S - you absolutely blessed me on Friday! Thanks for being there.

Onto the story...

I was in California for a Lifesong For Orphans event, the weekend before last and while there I knew we were being considered by a birth mom who wanted an open adoption. I felt such a heart for her and really had such a sense of expectation like this was the one. I was feeling so strongly (more than ever) that this was our time. Time for action! I had such a sense of urgency and excitement.

After arriving home the next day I was listening to the radio when I heard a powerful message, entitled "Orphan Care: Accepting the Call" by Kay Warren (wife of Pastor Rick Warren). Listen here. Seriously. Take a few minutes and listen. You may never be the same.

After Kay spoke, Jim Daily (President and CEO of Focus on the Family) came to discuss the issue of waiting children living in foster care all over the United states. (These "waiting" children are "legally free" for adoption - meaning their birth parents have relinquished all their rights to parent - these kids are in every sense orphaned. As I understand it, these children are older than one year, or have special medical, emotional, or behavioral needs, or may be sibling groups that need to stay together.)

I started thinking about these children. Who are they? Where are they? With these thoughts running through my mind, my kids and I headed out to the grocery store. As we were walking up to the door, I met another mom whose son caught my eye right away - I knew he had to be from Guatemala. With that common bond, we started talking and I shared with her that we were in process again and actually being considered by a birth mom. She then shared that she and her husband just finished taking foster classes and were interested in adopting a waiting child.

"Really! It's so interesting that you said that because I was just thinking about waiting children on the way here." I told her. It was most definitely a God moment - I could just tell. I pulled out my blackberry and asked her for her email address. "We need to talk more." Then she quickly leaned over - right there in Aldi's - and prayed for me. I knew I was going to like this girl!

After finishing up at the grocery store, I headed home feeling tired and quite frankly a little crabby! With grocery bags strewn all over the floor, I sat down to check my email before unpacking bags. It was then that I got this email from Karen.

"Jami, pardon me if I have a little confusion. Your profile has been shown often so I really have to think about it. Both of the girls asking for an open adoption have chosen another family. You were shown to two of them. Then your profile was shown to a Hispanic woman. She has narrowed down the profiles to about 6 and yours was one of the ones she returned as eliminated. You have been shown 4 or 5 times in recent months. I can't think of any reason other than it's not your time. It could be because you already have 3 children and most BM's want to place with childless couples. So don't get discouraged. (I know that's easy for me to say). There are some births coming up in 2010, which is just around the corner. I will show you as often as I can. Your openness is helping."

I just stared at the screen for awhile and then looked over at the groceries which seems like a daunting task. I felt numb. So weak. So disappointed. So sad.

After awhile I called Clint and told him the news. Several times I had to drop to my knees and just cry out to God. Why Lord? I don't understand? This hurts so bad. I need You. I need Your perspective. I need Your energy.

There, in my kitchen, I heard Him gently say, "It's not about you." Think about these waiting children who are longing for a family. And as only God can do, my perspective began to change. I also began to feel energized and motivated whereas before I just wanted to lay down and cry. It was an amazing moment. He is Amazing!

The next day, I headed off to Bible study where we are going through "Esther" by Beth Moore. In the video, she talked about "The Reversal of Destiny," those times that "God appoints or allows circumstances (often crises) in our lives to redirect our paths."

Okay, I was listening!

She went on to talk about the word, "Peripety" (which I had never heard of before but LOVE now!) Listen to this definition. "A sudden turn of events that reverses the expected or intended outcome." She went on to say, "Peripety is the hinge on which destiny turns!"

The Lord then gave me a thought, that made me pause; It's not about bringing a child to our family, it's about bringing our family to a child.

Beth said, "A peripeteia swiftly turns a routine sequence of events into a story worth telling."

Friends, there is so much more to this story but I really need to go to bed right now! I'm hoping to finish it tomorrow or Wednesday but I'll leave you with this little "teaser," because that's what I like to do. (hee hee)

I went home from Bible Study a little overwhelmed, a little flustered, a little nervous, and still unsure of exactly what this would mean for us. Because if in fact, the Lord was directing us toward a waiting child (which it seemed) then likely I was going to have to face the death of a dream. The dream of having a baby again.

After putting the kids down for quiet time, I sat with the Lord and picked up my Esther study again. I hadn't finished the last 2 days of the previous lesson and so I opened up the book. I opened up directly to an empty page but quickly realized I had missed another day earlier in the study. Any guesses on what the title of the lesson I had missed, weeks before?

"For Such A Time As This."

More soon... ; )