finding peace

During the first couple weeks of our move, our Internet was down and there were a few times, I just needed to write down some thoughts. So here you are, originally written on July 10th (7 days after our move).

You know those days when you just feel like you blew it? Like you were just a grouchy ole’ mommy who exhibited all the qualities and characteristics UNLIKE that of a very virtuous woman?

That is how I felt today. After putting kids to bed tonight, I sank into my white sling back chair and sat on our deck with Bible in hand. I felt like a failure and I told the Lord so. I felt like I was missing the mark.

Mommy guilt can be strong and I’ve been facing that a lot more lately. With the craziness of the move and all the appointments that occur with foster parenting, we just haven’t had the time to stop and relax. Fortunately, it’s all settling down again but I couldn't help struggling against the worry and guilt that life was spinning out of control and we were not going to recover.

As I sat with the Lord, he began to speak peace and clarity to my soul (as He always does) and I felt myself relaxing. “I know the worst about you, but I also see the best in you. I long for you to trust Me enough to be fully yourself with Me. When you are real with Me, I am able to bring out the best in you: the very gift I have planted in your soul. Relax, and enjoy our friendship.” (Jesus Calling, July 10th)

I think I’m getting it, slowly… but I’m getting it. He longs for us to experience freedom from worry, from the burdens that so often wear us down! His is not the voice of condemnation, though He does chastise us at times, His voice always brings peace, hope, and love. If we allow Him to wear our burdens, if we keep our eyes on Him and not on our circumstances, we will be women and men living supernatural lives. Though our circumstances are often difficult, we can walk in peace and joy. He loves us far more than we could being to imagine and I believe He longs for us to simply rest in Him and follow Him.

We don’t have to see the ending, it doesn’t have to make sense, we just need to take the next step!

“Remain in my love….I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow!” John 15:9 and 11