Sometimes I just feel out of sorts. Tired, emotional, grumpy, irritable. Yuck. I felt that way last night.
And then, my little son, my baby crawled into my arms.
Feeling some of my irritation fading, I hugged him closer and looked into his deep, dark eyes - eyes that he did not get from me but rather from another mama, his birth mom. A beautiful woman who gave him life. And then gave him up - hoping he would have a better life than she could provide for him.
She made a sacrifice I can't begin to imagine. I don't know very much of her story but I do know a mama's heart. I know how it feels to carry a baby in my belly, to birth a child into this world. I don't ever want to know the pain of giving my child up for adoption. And yet, I'm so thankful for Hudson's birth mom and I need to pray for her more often. I'm convicted of this as I write.
Adoption is rooted in loss. It's not fun to think about, but it's the painful reality.
My profound joy was her profound loss.
I didn't really expect to go here when I started writing this post but I'm glad I did. I need to think of her more. This woman with whom I share an incredible bond and yet one whom I will likely never meet. I would love to meet her.
My life has been changed because of her. Because of the son that she gave life to more than 3 years ago, my life will never be the same. Praise be to God!
And I can't help but think of my Jesus. God the Father knows her pain. Thousands of years ago, He sent His only son to this earth, to die on the cross and shed His blood for you and for me so we could be free and experience LIFE!
Because of His sacrifical gift, my life has been forever changed and I will NEVER be the same again! Praise be to God!
4 comments:
So great to think about- what gifts these children are. I think of Cade's (and Charis') birthmother as well. I can't imagine living with that loss. But I'm with you- so thankful for the blessings of our children.
i am always in awe of adoption and such... the gift of it all. and i enjoyed reading about how your heart is feeling about your son's birth mother.
(haha! and i didn't realize til now that i had visited on tuesday! forgive my light headedness! hoping to come out of this fog soon!)
Adoption is "A collision of forfeit and gift."
I found that in a random novel I read a few years back, but it's the best description I've come across.
I loved this post. I soaked up every single word. I understand it all so well... Thanks for the reminder to be praying for these brave, loving birth mamas. I need to do it more often, too.
So bittersweet.
Likewise, I'm sure his birthmom thinks about him too and is thankful for the loving parents that are giving him the happiest life possible.
Post a Comment