When you need refreshed...

I've had a lot on my mind lately.

The Lord continues to stretch me and ask me How much do you trust me Jami? Do you trust me more than your fears? Will you obey me - no matter what it costs you?

Sometimes, I forget how GOOD He is. Sometimes I forget just how much He loves me and I find myself fearing. Fearing what He may ask of me - fearing pain - fearing heartache - fearing difficulty. Today was one of those days.

Last week our agency approached us about a 7 year old boy who needed to be adopted. We seriously and prayerfully considered adopting Him but the Lord showed us clearly that we were not to step forward.

So this week has been lessons on discerning His voice and I praise Him for teaching me that. I know that the Lord has a specific plan for our lives and for the life of this little boy.

So I called to tell our agency our decision about the 7 year old today.

Then I asked her about if there were any babies due to be born soon and she explained that in the next few months there will be. Then she said - there is also this baby boy who has severe disabilities - like really severe...

She wasn't even asking us to consider him at this point because she needs to get more information on his situation but when she mentioned him I felt just kind of weak. Like "Lord, I don't even know if I have the energy to pray about this. It's so big. It sounds so hard."

Like I said - I don't know much of anything about his situation - I really don't know if we'll hear more about him or not. I'm trying to simply rest in my Jesus and trust Him.

As I sat with the Lord today I poured out my heart to Him. This is a portion from my journal:

Lord, I have a lot of concerns on my heart today. I need you. I have fears, fears of living a hard and painful life. I know that you have better plans for me and that You would give us joy and fulfillment in whatever situation You bring but Lord I just need Your reassurance . Please speak to me through Your Word and inspire my thoughts for I am weak.

I need to remember that You are not out to hurt me or make me struggle. You want to give me abundant life and that comes from knowing You more. I need You. I expect to hear You, see You, and experience You today and now. I am Yours, Lord. Nourish Your child. I love you!

I'm writing this because I want to show you just how Real and AMAZING Jesus is. At the end of every page of my journal is a verse. I filled up 4 pages and these are the verses from each page.

See any similarities??

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose." Rom. 8:28

"...the Lord will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly." Ps. 84:11

"For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting..." Ps. 100:5

"Oh that men would praise the Lord for His goodness..." For he satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness. Ps. 107:8-9

I flipped back a few pages in my journal to see if ALL the verses mentioned that little word - good - but they didn't.

I know that He was simply was reminding me that He loves me and that I don't need to fear the future. His plans for my life are the best - no matter how hard - He will be there to fill me, to bless me and to grow me.

I want His GOOD for me!

I have no idea what that's going to look like - no idea - but I do know that I don't need to fear the unknown. He is GOOD, He is Trustworthy, and He loves me more than I can fathom. Wow...

I want to encourage you to rest in Him (I'm saying this to myself too). Have you stopped today to be still and know Him - know that He is your God who loves you and is in control.

It is a choice - to stop and sit with Him. He wants to fill us - to speak to us. He is working all around us - He is pursuing you - He has a specific plan for you and me. Don't fear (Jami don't fear) but trust and obey - no matter what.

"So we keep on praying for you asking our God to enable you to live a life worthy of his call. May he give you the power to accomplish all the good things your faith prompts you to do. Then the name of our Lord Jesus will be honored because of the way you live, and you will be honored along with him. This is all made possible because of the grace of our God and Lord Jesus Christ." 11 Thess. 11-12

This is my prayer for you my dear friends (and my prayer for me too!)