What are you thinking?

I'm just going to say it. I've been a grumpy grump for most of the day today.

Here's what I've realized though. Much of the reason I've been grouchy is because I've been focused on me! Focused on how I don't feel lovely in the outfit I am wearing. Focused on how I shouldn't be eating this or that but I want to. Focused on how full I feel since I went ahead and ate it anyway.

Oh and I wasted time on the computer today too.

The truth is, when I put me first - life is rough. My kids suffer. My man suffers. I suffer.

Jesus calls us to deny ourselves and put others first. Why? Because He knows that when we obey Him, we win. Letting Go of me is the key to the abundant life that He offers us. This is what I want. I don't want to settle. I want to EXPERIENCE Him and ALL that He has for me.

But on some days it's a whole lot more difficult. Some days I'm just tired. Some days I'm just weak.

But this I know. Even on my roughest days, I am loved by my Father. Even when I'm a selfish mess, He adores me. He delights in me and continues to call me, love me, and draw me. This is the good news of the gospel! In our sin, He died for you and me! When we had nothing to give, He gave us LIFE! Oh how I love Him!

Tonight I was reading in Susie Larson's book "Balance That Works When Life Doesn't. "Here are 3 things she said that really blessed and challenged me tonight.

* During times of fatigue, abandon all introspection and just rest. Protect yourself. This is when you are most vulnerable."

I so appreciated this. My Dad often quoted the saying "Fatigue makes cowards of us all." When I am tired, it is the easiest time for me to get down on myself or on others (unfortunately). I HAVE to guard against this...and since I was up several times with Hudson last night, I've felt rather tired today.

* Do not give your thoughts free rein during oversensitive moments.

This is a challenge I faced today too actually. I had to continually redirect, redirect, redirect. Thank you God for helping me.

*Never, ever entertain thoughts of what others might think of you.

Wow, this one just hit me right in the nose!

Lord I pray that we will take control of our thoughts today by redirecting them to you. It all starts in the mind.

Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me - everything you heard from me and saw me doing. THEN the God of peace will be with you." Phil 4:8