The Struggle

I dropped 'my' little boys off for their visit with their parents and their 2 year old sister. I watched the joy in their mom and dad's eyes as they hugged the boys and talked with them. I saw their sister smile excitedly as we drove up and I watched as LM leaned into his mommy's arms, giving her a big hug.

As I watched them walk away together I thought, they need to be together. I want them to make it. I want this family to be restored. To know the joy of family. To ultimately know the joy of Jesus.

And I felt so peaceful watching them.

Two hours later, I pulled back in to pick up the boys and as I hugged them and loved on them, I thought, "No. How could I ever give them back? I love them so dearly. They have become part of our family."

And yet we have to live with the expectation that they are going back home. We live with the reality that most likely, we will be saying goodbye.

My heart says one thing one minute and then another the next. But I'm so thankful that I don't have to trust my heart, I trust the ONE who never changes. I trust Him with my heart and with my kids' hearts. Each one.

He will never fail us. He will never fail you. Whatever season you're in, listen to His voice. Our hearts will deceive us, but He is so much greater than our hearts. His is the voice of truth!