God is working

Hello friends!

I can't believe it's been over a week since I've posted! We had a garage sale at our house this past weekend and so much of my time went to that. I've also been on two field trips with Paige in the past week and so the blog had to wait.

I have to say though I feel very blessed. Yesterday I got 4 emails from friends who were thinking of me and praying for me. Wow! Thanks girls - I appreciate your love so much!

What a crazy month it's been. So many emotions. So much learned.

The Lord is SO good.

The very day that we confirmed that the first baby girl was NOT ours, we found out about the birth mom from Alabama. We also learned that she had consumed alcohol (every weekend) in the first 2 months of her pregnancy.

Of course the alcohol concerned us and when we read up on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome - we felt more than concern. Like fear.

So just as we finished one roller coaster ride, we were strapping ourselves in for ride number 2 and this one seemed even bigger. I felt so weak - just emotionally exhausted.

Again, some of my worst fears were looming before me.

One of the first things I read was - "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." 2 Cor. 12:8 Then Ch. 13:3 "Christ is not weak when he deals with you; he is powerful among you." And then in vs. 5 "Examine yourselves to see if your faith is genuine. Test yourselves."

I wondered how was it that I felt so strong in faith earlier that day (ready and willing to adopt the baby with Down Syndrome) and then so weak a moment later. I found such great comfort in the fact that He is strong. I still do.

What if we can't connect with this child? What if she breaks our hearts? What if she is hard to love? What if?

These were some of the thoughts swirling through my mind. But His truths flooded my soul.

These are some of the things He still whispers to my heart.

I do not know the future but He knows and I know Him.

Life is not about me; it's about becoming more like Him and glorifying Him.

Jesus Christ is completely trustworthy. I will trust Him more than my fear.

I have no idea how our story will continue to unfold and I can't wait to find out! I know that He has an incredible plan. He continues to work on me, challenge me, and change me. I am humbled as I think about all that's happened recently. To see Him change my heart so drastically. To see Him take away my fear. Wow...

His ways are perfect. No, I don't understand it all but I trust Him. None of this happened by accident.

God is working in each one of our lives, my friends. Do you trust Him with your everything? I have learned that sometimes He places our biggest fears in front of us to see who/what we trust more. He wants to show Himself to us. He wants us to experience a deeper, more abundant walk with Him.

We can go through life with clenched fists trying to cling to our plans or we can relax - breath deep and trust Him.

Oh, how I love Him!