The other day, I left my cart filled with groceries near a random wall in Walmart and walked straight out to my car.
Then I called my hubby and cried...and cried!hj
My sweet 2 year old has been testing the boundaries in many ways lately. He's grown quite fond of the word "NO!" and he uses it with gusto! For the most part he's been quick to apologize and turn his attitude around but lately, he's put up more of a fight. The other day, he said "No!" to everything I told him. He said it loud, often, and with anger.
Honestly, I didn't know what to do - nothing was working. It got so bad that I simply had to go. I was upset, frazzled, and embarrassed...very embarrassed. As we were racing out of the store, my little Raegan said "Mommy, why are you being so mean to us?"
Yep, that's when you feel like mommy of the year!
The funny thing is - the day or two before this episode, I got a request to speak to a group of moms on my topic Help it's snowing baby powder - which is essentially about making the most of motherhood!! The Lord has such a sense of humor, doesn't He?!
It took a very humbling experience to make me really evaluate my parenting and become more of a student of my son. What I've realized is that all too often I discipline with harshness or irritation in my voice. I am often quick to get frustrated with my kids and I've justified this behavior because raising kids is so, well constant.
It's convicting when I think about the way God deals with me. Sometimes I don't obey right away or the first time. Even when I obey, it's not always with a great attitude. I'm selfish, prideful, inconsiderate, and unkind at times but He never deals harshly with me. He offers me mercy and grace and patiently loves me through my many moments of weakness. He firmly deals with my sin but not with irritation. Instead He showers His love and wisdom on me through it all.
He knows me, He understands my frame, and He persistently pursues me.
Being a mom is a wonderful blessing but it's also challenging. It's especially tough when I'm running low on sleep or on time but I must remember that love is patient and kind. It is not irritable and endures through every circumstance. I Cor. 13: 4, 5, 7
The past few days with Hudson have been so much better. Yes, he continues to test the boundaries but I'm doing some things differently. For example, today I was late to teach a class. I was rushing the kids out the door and I picked up Hudson to put him in his car seat. He arched his back and would not go in. Instead of fighting with him, I stood him on the garage floor and bent down so we were eye to eye. "Hudson, it's very important that we leave now. I need you to get in your seat."
f
Once I calmed down, then he calmed down and was happy to get in. Of course it's not always that easy but we're making progress - he's learning and I'm learning.
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Too often, I've spoken disrespectfully to my kids in the name of discipline. I want to get down on their level but I don't ever want to speak down to them. I need to be a student of my children because each one has such unique gifts, talents, and interests. They also feel and give love differently.
It is our responsibility and honor to help our kids become all that He created them to be. Similarly, they help us become all that He created us to be as well!
I am so thankful that the Lord is always patient, always kind, always loving because I mess up a lot. Lord, may I treat my kids the way you treat and love me! I'm so thankful I have you!
Today's a new day my friends! We must be connected to Him in order to share His love those around us - whether that be our kids or whoever. He is here.
The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. Lamentations 3:22-23
8 comments:
Thanks Jami, I SO needed that today! It's been rough going here with my boys and I needed that reminder.
This my friend is a beautiful picture of bringing God into the everyday mommy moments of life! Thank you for writing this...my heart so needed to hear it today...as I have had many of my own mommy learning moments lately...if needing to feel 'normal' read my Now I'm the Momma post...it will sound very familiar to you! Love you girl!
Amen...I am so thankful for His fresh mercies EVERY morning, I've sure needed them lately too. I have to laugh sometimes at how much God teaches ME, through me trying to teach my children :) It's a challenge, but ever so worth it!
love ya, janelle
You know this is EXACTLY what I have been dealing with and the Lord showed me this week, that most of the problems I am having with my Isabella is because I automatically go straight to the irritating voice, instead of being calm. Once I started dealing with the "episodes" of disobedience differently, they are beginning to be less frequent.
It is so good to hear that I am not alone and not doing or dealing with things that other moms do. i often times feel so alone and sometimes like a failure. Thanks for being so honest. you help and encourage me so much!
I thank God for bringing you into my life!
amanda
Jami - I can't tell you how much it meant to me for you to call today! I needed that so much! Already our conversation has "spurred me on toward love and good deeds". I really mean that.
Major props for getting Hudson in the car seat! I tend to lose it during those times, and then we wind up being super late because I'M the one throwing a tempter tantrum.... Thanks for the post - it speaks of truth!
Sometimes my children act "ugly" because they have seen me model that type of behavious. Thank you for reminding me that I am their example, good or bad. I pray that I most often model Christ and His love.
This really ministered to me today Jami. Thank you.
bravo! just this morning while seated in church, this very thought struck me. does He raise His voice at me? never. He loves me with gentleness and patience, even in the midst of my frequent and misguided disciplinary outbursts towards my own kids. always teaching, isn't He?
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