An interview with a birthmom

I am very excited to bring you this post today!

As we are in the process of our adoption, I've been thinking a lot about who our birthmom is. Is she even pregnant right now? What is she thinking, feeling, struggling with?

My dear friend, Eren is a birthmom. 16 years ago she made the choice of LIFE for her son and today we get to learn from her.

I loved hearing from her, it makes me feel more connected to Hudson's birthmom and our future child's birthmom as well.

I hope you are blessed today as you read her words. I further hope you will pray for the woman out there who are facing this decision.

Eren told me that she is happy to share more with anyone who is interested. She is a wonderful woman of God and I'm sure her testimony would encourage you!

Please leave any follow up questions in the comments or email me directly if you want to get in touch with her.

I'm praying God's blessings on you today, my friends! :)

How did you come to the decision to release your child for adoption? How old is your child now?

I had a lot of support by my teachers at the time and my social worker. They had me keep specific journals about my thoughts and feelings about keeping the baby or releasing him.

They had me “pretend” to have made the decision to keep one week and journal about that, then the next week “pretend” that I released him and journal those feelings as well. That was very helpful—I thought of a lot of different scenarios that way.

Also I prayed a lot and sought God’s guidance and actually listened to Him. I could not have done it without God’s grace and protection.

My child is now 16 years old.

During your pregnancy, what did you feel were your greatest needs? Emotionally? Spiritually? Physically?

Emotionally I needed someone to talk to who had been through it. To see that they were alive and well and not with their child. That was very important. I needed people around me that supported me in any decision I made, not just to be there if I did what they wanted me to do.

Spiritually, I needed people to tell me what God would have me do, especially in the beginning when abortion seemed so convenient. I needed people to pray for me and time to be alone with the Lord.

Physically I needed money to purchase maternity clothes. I was fortunate to have a father whose medical insurance covered all my maternity costs.

How can we better pray for the women out there who are in this same situation as you once were?

Pray for them to be surrounded by people who will support them in their decision.

Pray that God would give them peace in their decision.

Pray for perseverance during delivery and after. Those maternal instincts are so strong and can derail them from their decision so easily.

Pray for God to draw near to them after they have placed their child for adoption. It is a great loss and you feel so empty inside.

What would you say to a woman right now who is trying to make a decision between adoption or abortion?

They have to make a decision that they can live with for the rest of their life.

To choose adoption is to give life, not only to their child, but to a family who desires that child.

To choose abortion is death.

Adoption is very difficult as you go through it, but in the years to come what a blessing it is that you know you have given life.

How did you choose the adoptive family?

Through my dad. He knew someone at his job that knew my adoptive family. The three of us agreed to separately contact the same adoption agency and start the process there.

Prior to meeting them I had leafed through books of prospective adoptive families as well.

Did you feel an immediate connection with them?

I did. I sensed a strong feeling of love between the husband and wife. That was very important to me, that the couple love each other very much.

They had been married 10 years at that time and been through several miscarriages. I was so touched by the fact that they had been through so much and loved each other all the more.

What is one thing you would like your child to know? The adoptive parents?

Mostly that I loved him SO much that I released him for adoption. It was not that I didn’t want him, I wanted a better life for him than I could give him at the time.

I felt that he needed a mom and a dad that were married and had a stable relationship.

I want him to know I loved him so much that I was willing to put my feelings and needs aside to do what was best for him.

For the adoptive parents, to thank them for raising my son because they are people I could trust to do that.

Is there anything else you’d like to share about your experience?

Just that I have never once regretted my decision.

I have been sad and missed him tremendously for sure, especially on his birthday, but never regretted it.

If I had decided to abort I am certain I would have regrets that I may not be able to live with.

I pray for my birth son regularly and know the Lord is watching over him.

Thanks Eren so much for being vulnerable and real. Thank you for choosing life! As an adoptive parent, I know what an amazing gift that is!