Learning to Let Go...Even More

**Special Note** I asked Paige if I could share this on the blog. She said, "Well, I have to see what it says before I decide if it would embarrass me or not." She's okay with it so here we go! :)

Recently, we went to Paige's first grade open house. At the end of the evening I asked her teacher how she was doing to which she said, "Really good but she seems to miss Mom at the beginning of every day. She's kind of sad at first." I didn't really expect this bit of news because Paige has always seemed so excited for school. So I asked her. "Paige do you ever feel sad or nervous in school?" She surprised me by answering "Yeah, I'm nervous everyday. I'm scared that I'm going to mess up on my math. And I'll never get my name called."

Apparently, math is the first assignment of the day and Paige was consistently doing one part incorrectly. Because of this, she never got her name called by her teacher. IE: (I'd like to congratulate ___________ for answering every problem correctly.) The work wasn't too difficult for her, instead Paige just didn't understand the directions. So, I wrote up a few problems for her to practice on and she boldly proclaimed, "Tomorrow I am going to get my name called!!"

The next day she did indeed do them correctly but her teacher talked to me after school to say that Paige had a rough day - feeling sad and down a lot. Then she said, "Paige is just a worry wart. She is very concerned about doing things perfectly and I wish she could relax a bit."

I was kind of taken aback by the "worry wart" comment primarily because when my hubby Clint was in 1st grade, he was also called a "worry wart" by his teacher. Then she sent him off to counseling for the entire next year! All he remembers about counseling is talking about airplanes which he did enjoy!!

He like Paige, just cared about doing things the right way. And for Paige - she really wants to have that affirmation. I agree, I like it too! What we need to work on is how to appropriately respond when she doesn't get what she wants.

So I was struggling at first. You know you never like to hear anything remotely negative about one of your kids. It's just not fun. But, the Lord gently reminded me that my goal is not for her to be the superstar in school, teacher's pet, or every one's best friend. My goal is that Paige will passionately love Jesus and develop a growing, vibrant relationship with Him.

If we allow them, struggles bring us closer to Jesus. When we struggle, we more profoundly feel our need for a Savior, Lord, Helper, and Provider. This is what I want Paige (and all my kids) to get. Even when I can't be there, Jesus is - was - and will be forever with them.

And though my heart strings are being s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d and my stomach is a little bit in knots, I'm going to entrust her to my Jesus, the One who loves her more than I do.

So once again I open up my hands and "let go." Of course I'm going to be involved in helping her as much as I can, but by God's grace I'm not going to let fear and worry consume my thoughts. He's got it all under control. I just need to consistently direct her back to Him.

Thank You Jesus for loving my daughter. I know that You created her with a special and specific purpose. You are passionately pursuing her and though she may stumble, she will NEVER fall when she trusts in You.

The steps of the godly are directed by the Lord. He delights in every detail in their lives.
Though they stumble, they will not fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.

(Ps. 37: 23 & 24)