A Life Changing Experience

Sometimes life doesn't make sense.

I remember feeling that back in October when the gym that I had been teaching at suddenly closed. I was shocked and so sad not just because I was losing a job, but because of the wonderful relationships I had made along the way.
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Being an exercise instructor was not something I thought I would have been doing in the first place but when God brought that into my life, I absolutely loved it!

Because of teaching, I was able to love on and encourage the women who came to my classes every single week. And while going through our adoption, I had many natural opportunities to share about Jesus.

I felt like He was using me.

I felt valuable.

Then, suddenly it was all gone. As overdramatic as it may sound, the closing of my gym felt like a death of sorts. Something I loved so much - was gone.

I wanted to continue working out so I joined up at another gym in town. The new gym was a co-ed gym as opposed to mine which had been for women only and though I loved teaching, I did not feel peaceful about teaching to men. In fact – I remember declaring to my sister (many months before) that I would NEVER teach to men and I had told her to keep me accountable to that.

Honestly, it was a very hard transition for me and I really struggled.

I felt critical of some of the instructors that I took classes from and gave in to prideful thinking "oh I could do so much better." I struggled with frustration, anger, and sadness and I absolutely hated the fact that I was feeling that way.

2 months later I wrote this in my journal. “Lord, I need You. I have a lot of bad feelings inside. I feel more grumpy, angry, quick to get my feelings hurt, unmotivated, guilty, jealous, just UGLY inside.”

Soon after that, I sat on the couch next to Clint and wept because of all the ugly in me. I had felt trapped in a way, trapped by my own sinful nature.

Then I got offered a job to teach at the new gym and honestly, I began rethinking my former declaration. I thought that maybe God was opening up the door for me to teach again and I so wanted to be used by Him.

Maybe this was His plan after all. Maybe He was bringing back to life what had been such a part of me.

And maybe He had a whole other idea.

There is more to this story and a giveaway that I will share tomorrow!!