"Five kids is wearing" is what I told myself. And it was only 8:45 a.m. Sigh.
This morning, I woke up tired, cranky, and just plain tired - did I just say that?! I have been fighting a cold and have been feeling more run down lately. It's not easy being a mommy when you feel sick and tired.
I found myself in the bathroom hoping to get a moment to myself and as I put my hands in my head I prayed, "Lord, I can't do this. I am weak. I am irritable. SO irritable. I need You to fill me with Your supernatural love for my children. I need Your supernatural energy."
I am learning that it is my job to just get out of the way. I don't need to try harder. I just have to look to Jesus.
And so today I looked to Him with expectation. I asked Him to make this not just a good day but a great day. To change my perspective and fill me with His joy. I asked for Him to act in a big way. And I waited.
It is not His will that we live frazzled, tired, and irritable lives. He wants to work supernaturally through His people. We are just to be the vessels for His love to flow through.
It's not that I should have been surprised but He still thrills me so when He works! He is so personal!
It was amazing. Things just started to change. My perspective started to change and I didn't feel so weary anymore and definitely not so irritable. I knew He was changing me.
And the Lord gave me another sweet gift.
During the kids' quiet time, I went out on my front porch to spend some time with the Lord. My front porch is my sanctuary when the weather is nice. I absolutely love sitting out there! But today I wasn't able to be out there very long and didn't get time to be in the Word. Soon Paige came home thus beginning the most stressful and chaotic hours of the day. 3:30 - 5pm.
I was really longing for some time to sit in my "sanctuary" and read and pray and so at 4:15, I asked Paige if she would "babysit" the other kids. LM was still sleeping from his nap but the others were up.
I pulled out the crayons and asked the kids to color a picture for me! Paige put BB in the bumbo seat and sat next to him on the floor with her own coloring page. She loved it. She felt so cool!
And I went outside. I left the window open, but went outside and got a good 10 minutes with Jesus!!
It was glorious! I was able to really rest and enjoy Him during the most hectic time of day. Now that is a true gift!
Thank You Jesus! He is faithful friends! He is the ONE who will fill us. It's not about us trying harder or working more. It's about us letting go, understanding our desperate need for our Lord and then allowing Him to shower His amazing grace in and through us!!
I just love Him!
15 comments:
amen friend ;) *hug* love you!
ps. you are my hero;)
I agree. Letting go is the best thing we can do. To not do. To let him do. It's so freeing isn't it!
I love the porch too! It is really a gift to have that time...
This is so true, and yet so difficult for me. I want to be in control, especially when I'm sick and tired. I need to get better at just letting go and handing myself over to Him. Thank you for posting this.
Dear Jesus please continue Your sweet gifts in Jamis life! And thank You Jesus for healing her from this sicks too..we love You! Amen
Why is it so hard to remember to let go and just let Him do this "thang"? ;-) I'm so glad your day ended up with you wrapped in His strength!
i think you blog more with 5 than you did with 3! lol
this is a great reminder. i'm always pumping myself up to pull up my bootstraps and get it together. i forget that i'm talking to the wrong person!
That is such a gift:) Great reminder to just get out of His way...
reading your posts are like getting a deep breath of freash air for me. Thank you. Please pray that I get this time with Jesus too. (and I only have 2 1/2 kids to worry about!)
Oops, "fresh" ;)
"I don't need to try harder. I just have to look to Jesus."
That's good. It took me a long time to learn it.
I've so been there...hiding in the bathroom for a breather, calling out in desperation to God. It's good to hear you got time to yourself for a minute. My problem is remembering to turn to Him in those times & not the TV or online. :) Thanks for the reminder.
Maybe we should all have a day when we feel sick and tired. . . if we could all seek the same remedy you found. :)
Loved reading this post, Jami! Not the fact that you were having a rough day, but reading how Jesus blessed your day & worked in you! JUST what I needed to hear...been there too much lately! Our sunroom is my favorite 'Jesus' spot :)
I hope your feeling better!
Love ya!
These are some of the exact things I have told/vented/griped to Cory over the last week or so. It is hard when you feel run-down and tired. And I only have 3 littles!
You are inspiring, my friend. (Let's just decide here and now that we ARE real-life friends.) ;)
Thank you for the reminder that it's not a matter of me trying harder. I love your line - I just need to get out of the way!
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