6 months ago today - we were with Hudson in Guatemala on our pick up trip! WOW! Time has flown! As I write, he is bounding in here full of energy...and now he's gone again! I love him so much and am grateful to God that he is ours!
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Honestly, having Hudson home has been a pretty smooth transition but there have been challenges as well. I think the most difficult thing has been dealing with frustrations I didn't expect to feel. In those first few months esp. I was easily annoyed with him. Then there is guilt because you have waited so long for this child and once he is finally home, you're frustrated with him.
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I felt completely attached to him through the pictures and when we visited him in March (he was 5 months old)...he was perfect! Even on our pickup trip, he seemed pretty perfect but then we got him home...added Paige and Raegan to the mix and all of a sudden, I wondered if I was truly 100% bonded to my little man. I strugged with this for awhile until I realized (thank you Lord) that it really does NOT matter what % I am bonded to him...I am 100% COMMITTED to him!
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It is much like our marriage. (now this may come as a shock...(JK!) but Clint and I do NOT always feel oh so in love with one another BUT we are TOTALLY committed to each other!
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I guess I just want to share, for those of you who are still in process or have recently brought your children home that it takes time. Time to get to know your child, time to adjust to another child, time to begin your new normal. I praise God for my sweet little chicito and can't imagine life without him! :)
ddddI would love to hear from you...especially those of you who have adopted children.
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What were your expectations?
How did real life measure up to those?
How was the transition to your new normal?
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Or for those of you who are in process...
Do you have any thoughts or questions for those of us who are just a little further along?
Not that I'm an expert by any stretch...but I'm happy to share from my own experiences. :)
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Let's exhort and encourage one another today! I love you all!
10 comments:
Jami,
Thanks for sharing. I appreciate your honesty! It was your mother who introduced me to the concept of being "100% committed." I am sure you know what I am talking about, but it made a huge difference in my perspective!
Love Ya,
Taylor
Wow! This is a really good post. In our classes we did talk so much about being committed vs. being in love. Someday, I will blog about that.
As you know, I'm still in process. I really don't have any questions...I feel like I've read it all;) However, I still have major fears. It is SOOO encouraging for me to know you feel that way sometimes. I find it encouraging because I know I will be that person...especially in the middle of the night when I'm tired!
I will remember this and when that day comes for me, it will help me to counteract all of the lies that Satan will love to bombard me with regarding making me feel like I'm a terrible mom.
Isn't it awesome to know that your blog is a ministry?
Thanks
Oh yea...I FINALLY did the 7 wierd things about me. Sorry it took so long!
Thanks for sharing Jami! It's nice to hear the ups and downs of adopting. I appreciate you being so open and honest!
Hey Jami, I am going to reply, but will probably reply as a post since this is such a serious/needed topic. I will say that I understand & that others should be informed :). -J
awe, Hudson looks like a little stud wearing that sweatshirt we got him! :) He's so precious...and thanks for this post - what a great encouragement - esp in this stage of life! (3 lil kiddos) Because most days I feel bad or guilty that I don't feel 100% LOVE for them at the moment!!!!! :) But then they can just melt your heart!
We love you guys!!
Great description of commitment vs. feeling.
The only thing I have to TALK ABOUT is The Diapers!! As we've talked about, I think they should warn potential adoptive parents that smell (diapers or not) is a big part of bonding and an adopted child smells differently than your family at first. Now, I don't even notice.
BTW, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMI!!!!!!
Very nice post!! I, too, did not bond immediately with my son when we brought him home in August... in fact, those first few months I felt more like his babysitter than his mom. But once he started to bond with me and need and want me like a mother, not a babysitter, my heart opened up and allowed me to feel fully the range of emotions that come with being a mother. Now it's like he was always a part of me. I think you can read everything you want about that sort of thing, but until you are going through it, you don't really understand.
Camino
Beautiful post...thanks.
Ann
Thank you so much for this post..... I love how you referenced it to marriage!
I can't wait to have our kids home but well sometimes I get scared to death of being out #ed by kids.....
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