"How is he adjusting?"

This is a question I heard so often in the months following Hudson's homecoming and one that I still hear quite a bit.

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Our first photo after seeing Hudson on our pickup trip (with his dear foster mama)

Just a few days later in the hotel

When we first saw him, he was happy to smile at us but was obviously most comfortable with his foster mama. Maybe 20 minutes into our meeting she needed to get something from the car and quickly handed him to us and left. He immediately cried and was not happy until she came back and held him.

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But then when she gave him to us for the last time, he was fine.

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Never really cried. That is until that evening. Honestly, I think the shock probably began to wear off and he realized that the sounds and smells he was used to were gone.

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My poor baby...

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He cried for about 1 hour or so but I just held him, loved him, whispered the few Spanish words of love I knew in his ear and prayed. We turned on the television so he could hear his language which seemed to help a bit.

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He finally settled down and fell asleep. When he awoke in the middle of the night, I could just tell he was scared. His breathing was rougher and he kept looking around the room - for something familiar I think. But he never cried inconsolably again.

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From that point on he became very comfortable with us. If I left the room, he cried for a moment but then was fine with Clint too. We found out that his foster mama was bringing another child in for pictures later in the week and wanted to see him again.

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I was nervous about this but of course did not want to deny her. I truly can't imagine how difficult this goodbye was for her. She adored Hudson - adored him. She was such an amazing mama to him for those 10 months.

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This made me nervous. Would seeing her, set him back? Would he feel fearful again? I struggled with these thoughts but the unexpected happened. He went to her but then reached back for me.

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He wanted me!

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I was so thankful and excited but yet sad too because I knew that hurt her. She made a comment like "I cared for him for so long and now he doesn't even want me."

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Soon after Hudson came home, he began crawling and pulling himself up. He also began to have an attitude which created some feelings in me that I didn't like nor did I expect.

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I'll go into more detail about that tomorrow as this post is already long. But I want to be real about how I adjusted to my new son because it wasn't at all perfect or even pretty at times.

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It's just too easy to think we're alone, like everyone else has it all under control while we may feel like we can barely hold it together. Satan wants us to become isolated.

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But you are not alone my friend!