clink...clink...clink

At She Speaks, I compared living a life of faith to a roller coaster ride. As we embark on our 2nd adoption journey, I feel like we are slowly climbing the first big hill.


Right now we are still in the paperwork stage. Meetings with our social worker, physicals, police clearances, all that good stuff.


But I'm starting to feel the emotions kick in. I still feel fairly removed from it all since we're just doing paperwork but I realize that soon (about 1 month) we could be officially "waiting."


How will it all work out? Will we have to wait a long time? Are we crazy - 3 kids have us hopping already? Who is our child? What lies ahead? How far apart will our baby be from Hudson? These are some of the many questions swirling around in my head.


The agency we chose, Adoption 4 Kid,s recommends that we be listed with other agencies as well so as to have more exposure to birth moms.


This is all very different than international adoption. I didn't expect to be choosing more than one agency.


And then I struggle with more questions. Should we just stay with this one agency and have faith that God will bring our child to us (small though it may be). Or should we step up and be proactive? It sounds hard to search for another agency right now. We were looking into one but the doors closed on that.


At this point, we're waiting for clear direction. I believe that God will open the doors that need to be opened, He will show us. He is big enough to bring our child right where he or she needs to be. He knows the big picture. He has a plan. I just wish I knew what it was! :)


In a way this adoption seems surreal. I feel less organized - though there is not much more I need to be doing. I need to stay calm and remember that God is in Control. Not in my timing, probably not in the way I think but what He wants to accomplish in our lives - HE WILL DO IT!


I have to admit, I'm struggling a bit with the uncertainty of it all. I'd appreciate your prayers. Everything I know about my God reminds me that I do not need to worry. He always exceeds our expectations.


Lord, fill me with peace and wisdom. Thank you for loving us and being close. Once again I am committing to trust You. My arms are open to Your will for us. I can and will trust You! I love you Jesus.


When Clint and I first starting praying about domestic adoption, we realized that our neat and tidy picture of having two girls and two boys from Guatemala was not going to happen.


One night, I was praying silently while cleaning up my room. I was worried about the uncertainties of how this child would feel in our family - would our baby be a boy or a girl - and so on.


As I was praying I heard myself say out loud, "Well, Lord I guess I just need to trust you with my family." I did not expect to speak out loud and it kind of startled me but I was so impacted by those words.


I truly can't wait to see what You have in store. Your ways are much MUCH higher and better than mine!!



Yes, Lord I simply need to trust you with my family. And I will.