Interview with a Birth Mom

I'm excited to bring you another interview with a birthmom. I met Jennifer through the blog world and am blessed to learn from her! Thanks Jennifer!

If you missed the first interview with Eren or any of my recent "Adoption Series" posts, just click here. I am still planning on addressing the questions you asked so watch for that.

Now onto the interview:

How did you come to the decision to release your child for adoption? How old is your child now?

I was about 4 months pregnant when I decided that an adoption plan was going to be the best for me and my child. I didn't believe in abortion and still don't, really, and so the hunt began. I knew that I wanted my baby to grow up in the happiest of homes and to have every opportunity available to her as I had, and at the age of 21 and still in college, I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to that.

During your pregnancy, what did you feel were your greatest needs? Emotionally? Spiritually? Physically?

I was an emotional wreck pretty much throughout the whole pregnancy and I think it's pretty much self explanatory. The "I wish", the "I want", the "am I doing the right thing", the "what if's"..all of it...everyday..all the time. I would see young single moms and think..hmmm I think I can do this but....then again, maybe not. This was the whole 9 months. I just finally had to give it ALL to God. Spiritually, I pretty much gave it all to God and there were times when I thought my plan was going to be better, but asking for his help, I see he had a different plan. Thankfully, I trusted HIM. Mentally, I did need counseling, especially afterwards. Getting through all the "firsts" was the hardest. After that, the pain was of course still there...still is....just eased up a little.

How can we better pray for the women out there who are in this same situation as you once were?

Every member of the birth family needs prayer. Not only does adoption touch the birth mom, but it also touches the birth father and birth grandparents. My parents were with me the day I signed my "rights away" and being an only child, I truly think this was very painful for them to say good-bye to their "first" grandchild. Later down the road, I learned that it was very painful for the birth father too. Prayer is needed for all members of the triad.

What would you say to a woman right now who is trying to make a decision between adoption or abortion?

Abortion if final and adoption is the beginning...and in more ways than one. Your helping to begin a family and your helping to begin a life..

How did you choose the adoptive family?

After looking and reading over many profiles, it came down to three families. I prayed & prayed and it just happened--a kindergarten teacher and a Dr.

Did you feel an immediate connection with them?

I did. Right away. We met when I was 6 months pregnant and I met with them for about 45 minutes--and haven't seen or talked to them since.

What is one thing you would like your child to know? The adoptive parents?

I wrote a letter to my daughter that was promised she would get when she was old enough to understand. In this letter I told her why I was doing what I was doing and hoped & prayed she would understand and to be able to forgive me. I told her being my first child, she would always hold a special place in my heart! The adoptive parents' I have thanked over & over for taking her in and showing no prejudicious in adopting her and accepting her as their own. I can truly say that my daughter was lovingly adopted.

Is there anything else you'd like to share about your experience?

I really don't have any regrets on the adoption itself, but would've expressed my concern for future contact. I got pictures for the first 5 years and after that, nothing. I still pray that someday, I will go to the mailbox and get an update.