about the boy who grew in my heart

Today is a very special day for our family! Our Hudson turned four today! FOUR!

Yesterday I was contemplating his actual birthday. It's crazy to think that on the day he was born, I wasn't there. He came into this world without me. I didn't know him or have any real idea when he would be arriving, though I was certainly praying for him. Adoption is a beautiful and amazing gift but it is rooted in loss.

I have been thinking of his birth mom. I wonder what she is feeling today. I have to believe that she is thinking of him. She gave him life. Then she made the most selfless and painful decision imaginable to give him in adoption. She knew she couldn't give him what he needed and she wanted him to have a better life in America, that was her heart for him. We have that piece of information and we cherish it.

There is much we don't know as well like how long was her labor? When was his due date? Did she ever hold him? What were her days and weeks like after she made the adoption decision. What does she feel now?

I do know that Hudson was placed in a foster home with an amazing foster mama who adored him for the first 10 months of his life.

We first saw his sweet face on October 16th, 2006 - 5 days after he was born.


I'll never forget the moment. I got the call from our agency. "Jami we just received the referral of a baby boy, he's 5 days old and he's beautiful. Just beautiful."

She sent me the email, the cherished email with his first photos. I knew I had to wait for Clint to view his pictures but I had to take a peek at the subject line of the email that held his name.

"Edwin Fernando"

"Edwin!! I yelled to my mom (who was with me that day) his name is Edwin!" His name was so special to me because my grandpa's name is Edwin and it's not everyday you hear of a newborn named Edwin now is it?!

As we were rejoicing in the kitchen, the radio announcer came on and said, "Up next a song by Fernando Ortega! "

"Fernando?!" Mom and I looked at each other and just laughed out loud!

Soon after, the girls and I hightailed it over to Clint's office where we opened the email together to look at our precious son.


I remember saying to Clint in disbelief and awe, "He's ours Clint...isn't he? He's really ours!"

And now nearly 4 years later,

I am so very thankful, that he is ours!!

Hudson is our precious gift from above.

And to think that once I was SO fearful of adoption. SO fearful.

Adoption is definitely not an easy journey but oh so worth it!

So on this incredibly special day, we celebrate our Hud, the stud. We will celebrate as a family and head out to a local pumpkin farm and then home for cake and ice cream. And shhhh, don't tell him but he's getting a big boy bike out of the deal!

Hudson, God has such a special plan for your life. He created you. Isn't it amazing how we came from two different parts of the world but God called us family!

We love you always and forever!

Happy Birthday to my Hudson Edwin!