what really matters...

Now that my oldest is almost eight, I'm realizing that "because I said so" just doesn't cut it. She is at the age where she is really trying to make sense of why we do what we do. She has already noted that we do things differently than a lot of her friends parents do and on many occasions does not like that.

I've heard it said that the years between 8 and 12 could be called the counseling years. This is the age where our kids have so many questions and are really trying to figure out the world.

She challenges me to keep myself in check. Why do I say no to certain things? Why don't I want her to wear that outfit or watch that TV show. Sometimes, my reasoning lines up with my deeper beliefs about God and modesty and good things like that. And other times I realize that I say no out of fear or a desire to look a certain way to others.

For example, the other day she chose an outfit that just didn't really go, at least not in my eyes. When she walked upstairs I said, "oooh Paige, you know that doesn't really match." To which she responded, "Mom, it's MY outfit. I don't care if it matches or not."

I had to take a step back and think WHY did I really care. The outfit was very appropriate as far as modesty goes. I was a little concerned that she might be teased (but then again if you wear it with confidence, most anything goes, right?!) but ultimately I was thinking about me. What might others think of ME for letting her wear that. Sick really.

Thanks to the power of the Holy Spirit in me, I bit my tongue and said nothing more about it. Do I want her to think that beauty is about what she wears and how she looks on the outside? NO! I want her to be confident in her inner beauty. She IS a beautiful little girl and her clothes don't define her, nor do they define me. God has created her with a special purpose. I want her to spend her time and energy focusing on Him and what He has for her to do and not be consumed with how she presents herself to the world.

I'd like to think I'm teaching my kids and instilling important truths into their little hearts, but in reality they teach me far more than they realize. Motherhood, it's a refining process to be sure.

How has motherhood been refining you moms out there?